Let’s discuss it.
Automated Habits
Have you ever thought about how much we take our habits for good?
Since we were children, we were taught to adopt good life rules and practices, for example eating breakfast, brushing our teeth three times a day, changing our clothes regularly and so on.
Of course, these are practices dictated by common sense that are meant to make us internalize from an early age behaviors that we can apply every day on autopilot.
These automated actions are meant not to make us waste too much of that precious decision-making energy, as we know that there are routines to follow during the day.
Think about it:
If we had to decide every day from scratch how to organize our tasks, this would be extremely expensive from a mental point of view and that would be an incredible waste of that energy we mentioned earlier.
This automatism proves to be very effective, especially in a condition of temporary fragility,
but what does this mean?
We all go through periods in which we are a bit less energetic, maybe sadder, and therefore we limit ourselves to following these behaviors, that have already been internalized, before we can finally throw ourselves into bed and rest.
In short, this inertia pushes us to brush our teeth, for example, albeit listlessly, or to try to tinker with our pots and pans and cook a proper hot meal, instead of eating two bags of chips from the pantry or even having sleep for dinner.
Autopilot: is it a good thing?
Question is:
Have you ever wondered what rigidly following habits (whether they are good or not) entails?
If we proceed on autopilot, we know that every day we wake up and carry out a series of activities without asking ourselves whether these actions are actually good for us or not, at that specific moment.
Regardless of whether the habit in itself is good or bad, if it is performed without awareness it depletes us, because we are not fully in control of ourselves at that moment.
Forcing yourself to eat
Ok, how do I know this? Well, it depends
We are different individuals and as such we may need different practices and solutions, of course.
Let's take a simple example:
Today, I have a bit of a stomach ache, I don't feel well and I have absolutely no appetite.
I don't want to eat anything, but my habit makes me say:
I can't skip a meal, I need to eat something!
Even if it's little, even if it's light, I must have lunch, otherwise I'll feel worse!
How will my body fuel without food?
We may also have family members around us who are worried about our health and try to force us to eat something, because habit teaches us that skipping meals is bad.
And if we were even worse off, why doesn't our body feel the need to have food inside itself at that moment?
You know, it's not necessarily true because our mom or grandma always said it.
Right now, we have enough scientific evidence that suggests that fasting is an evolutionary response that helps healing.
I invite you to learn more about this topic on the right resources and always remember to consult a physician when in doubt and that, as said before, “it depends”.
Gym: I don't feel like it
Let's take another example.
I go to the gym twice a week because I know that exercise keeps me healthy.
Today, however, is a day in which I have absolutely no desire to move and I would prefer to go out with a dear friend of mine.
You know what? In the end, I feel forced to give up my social life because today is gym day.
In this case, I didn't listen to my need to confide in, discuss and express emotions with a person dear to me... which is also good for your health and mood!
In this case, we have set ourselves the goal of doing physical exercise in the gym twice a week and while it is certainly a good habit, if in this situation we deprive ourselves of the need to socialize, it’s because we are thinking automatically without truly connecting with our needs.
These are deliberately simple examples, in order to best convey this message to everyone.
Analyze your habit
So, what is important to learn to do?
It is important to ask yourself at all times:
I am fine?
What would I need to feel better?
Is the action I am performing driven by duty, by habit, by the fact that someone expects something from me, or because it makes me feel good?
I'm not just talking about instant gratification:
It may happen that sometimes I want to eat a cookie because I need some gratification at that moment to soothe some anxiety.
That's okay, it can happen every now and then and I simply eat my dessert without judging myself, but trying to understand the real desire that hides behind that of the cookie.
I'm not talking about the fact that you have to compulsively follow every desire that comes into your head, because then life wouldn't be as liveable to its fullest potential.
We are beings moved by will, therefore we know that a certain type of effort, a certain type of fatigue, a certain type of concentration will lead us to the result we want.
If I’m studying right now, it will be good for me to concentrate, so that I can pass a test.
I will be happy when I pass the exam, but that requires time spent concentrating, studying and putting in some effort.
What’s fundamental is to ask ourselves every day if we are truly connected to what we’re doing, or if we’re just moving forward by inertia.
Remember that you are a powerful spiritual being and that you can create the life you want, so make sure you’re always aware of who you are and how you feel, even in your smallest daily actions.
Then, life becomes richer and fuller, every day.
Empower your Journey
Need a little help defining your relationship with your habits?
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Thanks for being with us until the end, and remember to be kind to yourself, as you are the most important relationship ever in your life.